Week6:2 Filtering Theory

Attraction to another person is usually provoked by an interest in either physical or personality traits. I am attracted to someone with a good personality, who I can hold an interesting conversation with. Looks are not of the up most importance. As the old saying goes, You can't judge a book by its cover. Many times in the past when I felt interest in someone because of the way they looked, once I met them I found there was no connection and the attraction died. In Trenholm we learn of Steve Duck's theory on an attraction filtering theory, "Duck identifies four filters: sociological or incidental, preinteraction, interaction, and cognitive cues" (158). Duck's theory does make sense in many ways. Sociological and incidental cues can certainly influence who you may build relationships. If you frequently are in the presence of another person it is only natural to interact. Depending on preinteraction cues, you can observe how someone may act and if you find interest in them interaction is the next step. I have found in the past that preinteraction cues can be misleading. Though the first impression is very important, it can also be completely sabotaged due to setting or out of control circumstances. If your interaction cues lead to comfort in the presence of the other person, continued relationships should develop. I am about to celebrate three years married. I would have never thought when I first met my husband that we would now be married. I was first associated with him through a fast food job I had in high school. I ended up dating a friend of his for over four years. When that relationship ended I still remained friends with my husband. We then just began spending more time together. Eventually taking out of town trips with other friends, then just the two of us. A friendship when I wasn't looking for love or a romantic partner, has developed into one of the best relationships due to our cognitive cues. I share many beliefs with my husband and feel comfortable in communicating how I feel even if we don't entirely agree about something. Physical attraction can develop from more than looks. When judging someone on their physical attributes there may be an initial intense attraction, but once other personality traits, beliefs or values, come more transparent your attraction can dissolve and relationships can end. I find that Duck's theory can be good in applying attraction filters you can evaluate others in becoming potential friends or romantic partners, but your intuition about another is what really matters.